A Vaishnava Friendship.

By Shyama devi dasi

I don't remember exactly where I met Krishna Premavati the first time; either in the Dublin centre or the temple at Inis Rath, I met her along with Monty her husband. It was unusual to see this elderly couple coming to Krishna Consciousness, as most of the devotees I knew were young, in their twenties or, at the most, late thirties. They were both from accomplished backgrounds; Monty beginning as an accountant, had then trained people in theatre how to project their voices and was also an Alexander Technique teacher. Krishna Premavati had been a nurse and then later ran an agency, recruiting nurses from different parts of the world. She had also been a follower of Buddhism and was head of a Buddhist organisation for Ireland. They were both well-travelled and had lived in Knightsbridge London, Rhodesia (Zimbabwe) and Gozo, Malta.

An unusual story of how they were introduced to Krishna Consciousness: ISKCON had owned a building in Belvedere Place, Dublin, which the devotees used as an ashram and temple. Looking for a place to live in Dublin, Krishna Premavati bought this house, not knowing it had been the temple previously. As she and Monty first looked around the house, they came across a room which struck them as having a special, very peaceful atmosphere - they decided to keep this room for meditation. Then when KPV moved in, she used to receive mail addressed to the Hare Krishna Temple and didn't know what to do with it, just kept it aside, until one day Monty said he knew one of the Hare Krishna people, having met Prabhupada dasa distributing books on O'Connell street. So he took the mail to Prabhupada dasa who in turn took Monty to the temple on Dame Street and introduced him to the devotees there. Monty started reading books about Krishna consciousness and visiting the temple regularly. Eventually he gave Krishna Premavati a copy of the Bhagavad-gita and brought her along to the temple. They found out that the 'special' room in their house had been the Temple Room, where the devotees had worshipped Krishna daily.

I remember KPV next coming to Belfast when Monty had come to stay at the temple; she would visit for weekends. I was impressed at how she would come and take part in the early-morning devotions at the temple and was keen and inquisitive to learn the practices of Krishna Consciousness, even though she was seventy years of age. After a while Christine, as she was then, moved up to Belfast and became part of the community. I'd have some friendly little exchanges with her, we'd do shopping together for the temple or some other service over the years.

Then in Christmas 1997, she approached me and asked me if I would help her in her spiritual life and if we could meet regularly and talk about these things. I felt it showed her great humility in coming to me, younger than her own daughter, to give her guidance. I felt quite taken aback that she would ask me and also privileged that she would consider me worthy enough to give her advice. Here was someone who had been a very successful businesswoman and knew her way around the world, and then there was I who had come straight out of college and into the temple ashrama.

We would meet on a regular basis, and KPV would talk to me about her doubts and difficulties in spiritual life and also the good things that she was experiencing in her practice of Krishna Consciousness. Over the years I came to learn about her great faith in chanting the holy name of Krishna and in prayer. How determined she was to take to Krishna Consciousness as best she could! I could see at times, it was difficult for her to accept things, especially cultural aspects, having taken up this new tradition late in her life. It wasn't so easy for her to adapt and change, but she always tried her best in these matters.

KPV would do things in a thoughtful way. Always wanting to please her guru and Lord Krishna, she would do her different services with utmost care and attention; I especially saw that in her care of Monty when he became ill with Alzheimers disease and was taken into a nursing home and how she cared for him with devotion, making sure everything was done nicely for his comfort and also that he regularly heard the holy name and received prasadam . KPV always felt extremely grateful to Monty for having introduced her to KC and expressed that gratitude by taking care of him through ten years of illness until his passing away in 2004.

Being an intelligent person, KPV would often ask me challenging questions. I had to learn to be tactful in my answers, as she was older than me and it is difficult to accept things from a younger person. She wouldn't accept pat answers, so I would have to think deeply about the essence of Krishna Consciousness and how to express it in a way which would help her to understand certain points. In this way I feel she helped me in my Krishna consciousness, and I learned that the relationship of teacher and student benefits both parties.

Even though she often had difficulties in her relationships with the devotees KPV would say that the devotees were by far the best people she had met in her life. I learned to see that devotees may sometimes have awkward personality traits, but that these are really superficial and that I have to see beyond them to their efforts to overcome these difficulties, and to the sincere desires in their hearts.

Last July, KPV was diagnosed with lung cancer. Immediately she started making enquiries about the possibility of going to Vrindavana (Lord Krishna's birthplace) to pass away and that was always on her mind; even she had booked her ticket to go and the plans fell through. Because at this time in one's life it is easy to become distracted from spiritual practises due to weakness and illness in the body, I tried to help her by fixing up her mp3 player so that it would play continuously in her bedroom and she would be able to hear the chanting of the maha mantra or lectures by her spiritual master; so there would always be some spiritual atmosphere in her home she could easily focus in on. She would like to have Krishna book and Bhagavad-gita read to her and the devotees to chant with her. I would print out relevant verses from the scriptures that would help her to face this most difficult time, to give her some solace. At times she would be very fearful but she said to me that when she would think of Krishna and chant, the fearfulness would subside.

It was, of course, very intense for Krishna Premavati, but also for those who were trying to care for her, as understandably she could become irritable and demanding, as her health deteriorated, and she could be sharp when things were not done quite to her liking. I found this hard at times, but it made me realise that we have to overlook such things and that it was important to set aside my bruised ego and continue to help that person who is crying out for Krishna. I also had to overlook my own health difficulties, which seemed insignificant in comparison to what KPV was facing.

At times KPV felt quite hopeless and abandoned by Krishna, she spent some time in the hospice and it seemed like she might have to go into a nursing home, which was her worst nightmare, but then she received a phone call from her good friend Kalyani in Carrick-on-Shannon saying that she and the devotees there would be willing to take care of her in Carrick and could make all the necessary arrangements with getting proper medical care and assistance.

It all happened quite suddenly, her move to Carrick and it was a bit of a shock for me that someone who had been an important part of my life and service was gone. It seemed like she had been whipped out of my life; I felt empty for quite a while and emotional whenever I thought of KPV. I managed to make a trip up to Carrick to see her. She looked so bright and happy even though her body was disintegrating and couldn't do much for herself. She was so glad that I had come to see her. The devotees were taking such good care of her and it seemed like the right place for her to be. Her room was filled with fresh flowers and pictures of Krishna and Radha Madhava from Belfast temple.; and there was a Prabhupada lecture playing on the MP3 player.

KPV passed away a couple of weeks later on 14 April while her son and daughter were visiting her from Italy and USA. She was surrounded by the love and care she received from the devotees in Carrick. She revealed to a friend, a few days before she passed away, how she had previously not believed Krishna would take care of her at this time in her life but now she said 'Krishna is here' 'Krishna is here', she was feeling Krishna's presence at the end of her life.

My realisation from the whole experience was how Lord Krishna is so expert and how He achieves so many things in one situation. Through Krishna Premavati's illness He brought out the love and care between devotees and KPV, and showed us how Krishna personally takes care of everything and attends to the desires of His devotees. KPV really did not want to die alone; her great desire was to have the devotees there at that time to help her think of Krishna until the very end. And Krishna arranged it all for her.

Her daughter remarked to me that her Mum was so bright, alert and radiant, even though she was in a lot of pain and discomfort and she hoped that her own death would be like that. If you get the opportunity to care for someone with a terminal illness I would say you should take it, as you learn so much from the experience, especially if we try and give them Krishna which is the greatest gift.

Photographs: Top - Krishna premavati and UTV presenter Kate Little, working together on a programme about life as a devotee of Krishna.

Middle: Shyama and Krishna premavati at a temple study-group.